Sunday, February 14, 2010

A Love For XX ~Valentine Ver.~

* Photo source by CWorrell (Flickr)

This month is all about love because Valentine’s Day is around the corner. I’m always excited although this special day should be celebrated by the couples in love. Well, I’m different. I choose to celebrate this special day with my family and my best friends. I had met two new people in my life this year and I consider myself very lucky in every way because I love making friends, I mean a new good friend. I admit I’m unlucky in love but you know what, I’m always believed true love will find me someday. Although, it seems like I wasn’t allow falling in love but I’m allowed to have crush on someone special. It sounds pathetic right? However, I’m used to get hurt a lot. I’m mature enough to deal with dumping or maybe, being rejected straight away, face-to-face. Human hurts each other to get what they want but for me, even if I got myself into this kind of situation, life must go on and somehow, it gets somewhere.

Speaking of crush, I do have a crush with some recently. I don’t know if he think about me but I really admire him a lot. It doesn’t matter if he’s young but I really like the element of maturity. Well, not that too mature but enough to say he is cool kind of guy. I like his sense of humor, his fun-loving character and the way he treat me is just like a princess. He would sing a long with the song that I played and he would defend me if somebody tries to bully me. Honestly, I feel safe everytime he’s around. One thing, I hate about him is he acted like a kid when he played an online games. Gosh, why did I fall for him at the first place? I thought! You know, he’d just jealous whenever the other boys who tries to flirt with me. I know because I can sense his aura.

The first time I knew him is he is just look like a big boy who’s never grown up. I don’t really notice him until I had a little conflict with my regular ‘stubborn customer’. I don’t really have a choice because I was advised not to be too strict and then again, after the incident with Mar, I just don’t like to fight with anyone. I don’t want to end my story just like her. If both of them dare to fight, I swear I will kick both out or end up at the police station. I’m not going to compromise because you know, that’s the office policy. One of them dares to hold back but his face is little gloomy and I feel guilty for that matter. So, I wrote a note saying that I’m very apologize for what happen and then, because I am new girl on the block and I didn’t know much about them either. Then, he had told me quietly that he ever fight with them and he accepted my apology.

I honestly felt sorry for him. From that moment, he’d always check on me. If I’m not around, he will ask for me for several times without any reason. Checking around is not hurt but stalking is really a psycho thing but I consider him ‘checking around’. Nothing much about him instead when he got my phone number, sometimes, he called me and asking me about how it’s going that day. Isn’t it he sounds that he wanted to get out from his boring shell? Maybe, but I don’t care. At least, I have someone listen to me whenever I need someone to unload my head. Sometimes, he can be quite shy when people around and when there’s little people, then he’s start flirting. He just comfortable to be himself and I noticed that. Well, everybody had their own weakness and surely does, he asked me to lie to his mother about how he had stopped working. I was like…ok, maybe this is very personal but I’m trying my best to help him.

I noticed he was out of money but still he want to hanging out with me. He don't dares to borrow until I offer to him. Well, it doesn't take a lot of it. He needs money to repair his motorcycle and I've lied to the owner of the workshop that he was my boyfriend which I need that for my transport. He buys the story and started to help him. Well, indeed, he was little embarassed but I feel very sorry for him. I'm honestly helping him to cope the problem. Never mind, I thought! Besides, for all these times, he helps me a lot and then again, I just need the bodyguard to look after me. I knew his father and he was very friendly just like he father. However, ever since he had hanging out with me, it seems like his father had started to feel very shy towards me. It’s not that he against both of us but it’s more likely our level of ‘education’ had become our main boundaries. Still I admire him and if he against that, I would speak up to his father saying that wouldn’t be matter. He’s a former elementary school teacher and every pupil would say hi to him. I just smile along when they thought I was his girlfriend. He didn’t say anything and would smile too. Maybe he never thought the same way that I did but I would say yes, if he wanted to get along with me deeply. I won’t be hurt if he rejected it but still I wanted to be his friend.

My friend told me, I’m always losing the ‘good’ man and rather lose them for no reason. Sometimes, they thought, it was very unreasonable when a man like that lost interest with me. I don’t know if it’s true and honestly, this is always what I’ve been heard from my friend. I do feel upset but not too sad about it because somehow, if I lose them I believe God had made an early warning that he wasn’t compatible with my taste. I need a man who accepts what I am not my looks or just because they’re need to past their time. Well, if they’re wanted to ask me to become their stunt girlfriend, why not? I love that but not for chasing girls away but to keep their family shut their mouth. About him, maybe it just a little crush and it would be good, if it gone too far. I think I’m ready for it now and hopefully, my love will be bloom like a flower and it will be shine like a sun.

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